the one about the BFN

If you are close to Jake and I, you know we have decided to try for 1 more baby.  So we started trying back in September once I got the lovely IUD removed.  While I realize that my body needs time to reset and recover from having that thing in since 2013, I still find it hard to not be so crazy disappointed when I get a BFN pregnancy test.

In the land of TTC, a BFN is not a good thing.  Ok, let me roll back on the acronyms for a moment.  TTC stands for trying to conceive, and BFN is a Big Fat Negative.  Others are DPO (days past ovulation) and VFL (Very Faint Line), BFP (big fat positive), and a handful of others I am not even going to attempt to tackle.   I figured that since I got pregnant 3 times already, without really trying to – that this time if I am tracking and we are actively trying to get pregnant – that it would be pretty quick and easy.  I mean, everything the last year has been so crazy hard with selling/buying a house and planning/actually having a wedding – that we should have something go easy, right?

So, Sunday marked 10 DPO, and I woke up and peed on a stick (this blog is as real as it gets people, if you don’t like it move on).  I figured it is still kind of early, but I also figured why the hell not – i mean I have this giant pack of them I bought on amazon.   Negative, nada, zip, zilch – nothing.  A slap in the face of a BFN.  Yes, I know it takes time.  Yes, it will happen when it is supposed to happen.  Yes, I know my body is still adjusting.  Yes, I know I should stop worrying about it.  Yes, we know…we know…we know.   There are things you should NEVER, EVER say to someone who is trying to get pregnant.  Just don’t do it.  Smile and wish them well.  And for goodness sake, do not EVER tell them to not complain about it because they already have 3 kids.

My best friend has been trying to get pregnant for 2+ years and due to some complications has not been able to.  I cannot even imagine the pain that is.  It hurts to have someone else say “oh we weren’t even trying” when they show you an ultrasound picture. I cannot scroll down Facebook without seeing someone I went to school with, or from our time in the Marine Corps or someone local posting an ultrasound photo, or posting their gender reveal or announcing their pregnancy.  You want to be so happy for them, you want to squeal and love on them so hard.  But your brain and your heart aren’t connecting in that moment.  You muster up a smile and say how excited you are, because you really genuinely are – but that stab in your heart hurts a bit.

I know it takes time, I know it is a process, I know that it will happen in God’s time, not mine.  But boy is it ever hard to be patient and wait.

Pre-Black Friday Sale!

As a pre-Black Friday warm up, Swagbucks is offering big cash back for shopping online at several of your favorite retailers right now! Just go to this page to see all of the deals available and get the jump on your holiday shopping.

In order to take advantage of the cash back, just create your Swagbucks account when prompted (it takes less than 30 seconds) and then you’re all set! Your cash back comes in the form of SB points, which you can redeem for gift cards to places like Amazon, Target, Walmart, Starbucks, or get PayPal cash!

As a special bonus, if you sign up through me you get a 300 SB ($3) bonus when you earn your first 300 SB before December 1st!  This site’s a great way to extend your shopping budget, especially around the holidays!

Holidays with Swagbucks

Swagbucks is offering double cash back at dozens of different stores (like Macy’s and Target) during their 2017 Holiday Sale. Just go to this page to see all of the deals available and get the jump on your holiday shopping. There are

In order to take advantage of the cash back, just create your Swagbucks account when prompted (it takes less than 30 seconds) and then you’re all set! Your cash back comes in the form of SB points, which you can redeem for gift cards to places like Amazon, Target, Walmart, Starbucks, or get PayPal cash!

As a special bonus, if you sign up through me you get a 300 SB ($3) bonus when you earn your first 300 SB before December 1st! This site’s a great way to extend your shopping budget, especially around the holidays!


my love language

Have you ever read the book The Five Love Languages?   I have a copy of it, and I have read it several times.  It helped me learn a lot about who I am as a person, and how someone can best love me.  I know that may not make a lot of sense, but if your partner doesn’t know what you need, then how can they best love you.

So my oils team leader had us take the quiz to learn how she can better “love us as a leader”.  So, I took it.  Here are my scores:

As you can see, I scored pretty high on words of affirmation.  That is something that is so important to me.   One of the worst things about my previous marriage was that I was constantly told I was worthless, and that no one would want me ever.   I think I crave being told positive things.  Jake tells me every morning that I am beautiful – it is a simple morning greeting that he says everyday without fail “good morning beautiful”.  It doesn’t matter that I have heard it probably 500 times before, I still love it.    Hearing I love you, while important isn’t what this one is all about, why does someone love you – that’s what someone with this love language wants to know!  Give me the reasons why!!   It is also the other things, like “I appreciate you” or “I am so glad you are in my life” that are part of that love language.

When my boss or someone tells me that I am doing a good job – I love it.  That’s my main love language – words of affirmation.

Second up is physical touch.  Y’all – I’m a hugger.  I hug everyone, and chances are if we have met at least once I have hugged you.  I think it is the southern in me, I’m not sure.  I just love to love on people (if you don’t like being hugged, probably should tell me upfront, so I don’t invade your space).   I love it when Jake reaches for my hand in the car or when we are out & about.  It makes me feel loved, and makes me feel safe.

Now, the receiving gifts is a tricky one.  Of course I love it when someone gifts me a gift, it would make anyone feel special!  It isn’t about the material possession, it is about the thought & effort behind the gift.  Some of my favorite things in the world are handwritten notes.  I guess you could see them as a gift if you think about it.  I have notes pinned to my board at work from my students & coworkers, and my kids.  I even have the card from the 1st time Jake ever sent me flowers.  It is a powerful reminder that in that moment, someone was thinking of you.  My notes from my grad students, whether its a personal note or a silly postcard they sent while they were travelling mean so much to me.  I have “happy a.p. day” notes from coworkers, drawings my kids gave me, a funny Valentines card from a student.  All those things are gifts to me, and go along with the words of affirmation as well.

The last 2 are important, but rank lower in my mind.  Acts of service are like helping out with laundry or filling my gas tank up.   We share chores in this house, so that someone isn’t always pulling a heavy load.  We both work full time and sometimes it is hard to come home and work more.  I don’t see this as something “special” that Jake does just for me – its just part of running this household.  With 3 kids, 2 full time jobs, and a business to run – we don’t have time to let things fall by the wayside.   Quality time, we get that a lot.  Jake and I literally do EVERYTHING together, and its not because we don’t want the other doing stuff by themselves, it is just we genuinely enjoy being with each other.  We both have our own hobbies (he loves golf, I love blogging), so we do that separately.  I personally consider every moment we spend together as “quality time”.

I highly encourage you to take the quiz, you can do so here:  and share those results with your significant other.    In doing so, you may open up new worlds for both of you and your relationship.

Let me know in the comments what your love language is.  I would love to know if you think it is accurate to you!


TBT: Clearly Canadian

So it all started with a facebook post from Jake’s high school friend JD.  He had found Clearly Canadian drinks, something I haven’t seen since high school.   He had all the flavors:  Country Peach, Wild Cherry,  Mountain Blackberry and Raspberry.  I was in awe, and wishing he could just ship me some – even if it was to just have a taste of each one and share with my kids.

Fast forward a few months, and we happened to be stopping in a shopping center that had World Market.  After following Jake and Jonathan around Best Buy & Petsmart, I decided that we were going to go to World Market (if mom has to be dragged into stores, they can return the favor).  I had remembered JD mentioning that he had heard about them being found in the World Market stores.

After browsing a few aisles, I made my way back to the food & beverage section (which is probably my favorite section of that store anyway).  We found them – by the bottle or by the case.  I quickly sent Jonathan to the truck for my purse, and I went off to find a basket.  We loaded up on 3 per flavor (except peach, because I remember hating that flavor) – and off to the register we went.  Later that night, we popped the first one open and sure enough, it tastes just like I remember.  Now if we could get companies to bring back Pudding Pops, I’d be pretty set.   I have been enjoying packing these lovely little drinks with my lunch this week!

What items would you like to see brought back?  Any childhood favorites that we could interest you in?


just another manic monday

Y’all – I swear I have the best of intentions to keep writing, but man life is just busy sometimes!   Before Jake and I started dating, I had a ton of time on Tuesdays/Wednesdays when the kids would go to their dads to write, go to the library and just work.  Then when we started dating, I wanted to spend the time with them – so the writing (and reading) fell by the wayside.  It actually is a long running joke between Jake and I about reading.  In the first few weeks we were dating, he would text me and ask me what I was doing.  An hour later, we’d still be texting (or chatting) and he would ask how the book was.  My standard line was “you know damn well I haven’t been reading”.  Yeah, life is still like that – although now we live in the same house and are married.  Our nights with the kids home are filled with dinner, homework, showers & bedtime routines.   The nights without the kids are spent cleaning up, going for walks and watching jeopardy nightly (yes, I still beat him at jeopardy most nights).    I love devoting my evenings to my husband and my kids.  I spend all day on a computer at work, and lots of times don’t want to turn one on when I get home.

I do try to get some posts up & scheduled.  I am trying to sort out who I am going to work with this holiday season.  Blogging has gotten slower than it once was in terms of sponsored postings.  I used to work with Best Buy a great deal, but that has since slowed down a lot.  I should be better about promoting my own business – and I have a plan to do that.   Its the execution that I am slacking on.

I have some posts scheduled out for this week, some wedding posts & some funny.  Now that I have gotten into a routine of packing my lunch, I can spend the lunch breaks locked in my office writing & working my business like I should.

So for now, know that I always have the best of intentions – and I’m a work in progress.


Fall Swago!


The digital rewards site Swagbucks is celebrating the fall with another big “Swago” promotion starting Monday, October 9th at 9am PDT! Swago is just like bingo, but in this case you’re filling out squares as you earn points on their site for doing things you already do online. If you’re thinking of trying Swagbucks, this is a great chance to learn all about how the site works and earn bonus points while doing it, meaning you can get more gift cards faster. Here are a few tips:

  • Each square on your Swago Board will contain an action item to complete. They can be anything from getting a search win, completing a survey, or just visiting one of our popular stores!
  • Once you complete the action item in a particular square the square will change color signifying the action item is complete.
  • You have until 12pm PT/3pm ET on Monday, October 16th to mark off as many squares as possible so use your time wisely.
  • Be mindful of the patterns and their corresponding bonuses located on the right of your Swago Board. The patterns will vary in difficulty and bonus value. Once you’ve achieved a pattern, the corresponding “Submit” button will light up. You can have multiple patterns available for submission, however, you can only submit ONE pattern so choose wisely.
  • Each activity you successfully complete on your Swago Board will give you anywhere from 1-20 spins on the Spin & Win Wheel. PLUS, when you submit your board for a bonus you’ll get additional spins. The number of spins will depend on the pattern you complete. The wheel has all sorts of great prizes that you can win, and each spin is a winner!

The Spin & Win Wheel will be available all throughout Swago and you have until 11:59pm PT on Monday, October 16th to use all your spins.

Fill up your board and then submit your pattern to get even more points – if you can fill in the whole board, you get a 500 SB bonus, which is enough for a $5 gift card from the retailer of your choice.

Click here right now and click “Join” to get started! If you don’t already have a Swagbucks account, you’ll be able to quickly sign up; PLUS, if you earn 300 SB before the first of next month, you’ll get a bonus 300 SB!

Wedding Wednesday – Dance Off!

A few more shots from our wedding – all the dancing!  I am so glad we went with a DJ, I’m so excited we got to dance.  I do wish the dancing had lasted longer into the
evening, but it was hot – so I get it!    I know we were dancing to “Girls, Girls, Girls”
in some of these photos. 


It is hard to believe we are so far into fall.  The kids have settled into good routines with school, but us as parents on the other hand – yeah….we are working on it.  Throwing a honeymoon into the middle threw us off a bit, but we are catching back on quick.    Life has been good, although work has been stressful and busy.  We try to keep work at work as best we can, but sometimes it creeps into home life.   I did want to type out  a quick blog post to tell everyone, we are still here and kicking!  

We have hit our 1st home Carolina game, battled a cold (me), and babysat for friends.  We have plans to attend a few more Carolina games (we are season ticket holders), we took Katie to Biltmore & hopefully we can hit up a brewery and IKEA at some point this fall.  We need to get Katie a new bed frame, and get Jonathan one too (he is quickly outgrowing his loft bed).

It may be fall, but you know South Carolina – if we don’t hit 90 everyday until damn near the end of October it wouldn’t be normal.   Y’all know I love the hot weather – but I’m so ready to open the windows and air the house out a bit!    I would love to take the kids to pick pumpkins, but closer to Halloween.  I think carving pumpkins is so incredibly gross – but the kids love it – so I think I’ll leave that task to Jake!  

What is on tap for you this fall?   Cider Mills, breweries, pumpkin patches?